Something To Say

Last month, this blog’s 4th anniversary came and went and I nearly missed it. The thought crossed my mind about a day or two after, but it didn’t trigger a celebration or even an acknowledgement on here.  I wonder why?  Seriously, I wonder that a lot lately.  It has been months since I have written consistently and I struggle lately with what do I have to say and why does it really matter?

I started this blog for selfish reasons. I had been blogging for awhile at a different blog and realized that more and more my focus was on church tech and I wanted my blog to focus solely on that.  I didn’t think I had much to say about it, in fact, really the opposite, I knew very little about what I was doing in the church and I wanted to learn.  At that time, there were no blogs completely focused on church tech, so for me, I felt I could use this blog to pose questions and maybe even help others along the way.  Never have I felt that I was a so-called expert or the go-to guy in this arena, I’m just a guy that puts it all out here, sometimes in it’s rawest form, and waits to see what happens.

Sometimes there is a lot of great feedback and dialogue and sometimes it’s like yelling out into the darkness of night.  On occasion, I get hung out to dry, sometimes justified and other times I just step back and shake my head and wonder what just happened.  It’s all good.

In the past 6 months, I have made some adjustments in my life.  After 6 years with the same company, I realized it was time to go.  I have felt God leading me to full time ministry in some fashion for almost that many years and I really considered if now was the time.  I was seriously burned out in my job and really didn’t want another job, so we prayed about it and I began getting intentional about pursuing this dream of being in fulltime ministry.

As a result of this blog, I have a large network of church tech people and other church leaders and I started having some intentional conversations with some key people.  I even had an interview or two with some very impressive churches.  Impressive from an IT organization perspective, plus they were solid churches.  I was honored to be considered but in the end, I felt like now wasn’t the time yet.

During all of this, I stumbled upon a job that seemed like a good fit. It was one of those things where I read the job description and thought that is SO me.  I could so do that job.  So, I talked to the company and as of next week, I have been with this company 4 months.  Honestly, I am where I need to be for right now, it’s a job that is stretching me and God is still preparing me for what lies ahead.  Of course, I don’t know what the future holds but I feel like God is preparing me for something that I can’t even comprehend yet.

So, needless to say, over the summer, my energy and attention was on dream chasing, job hunting and just keeping everything afloat.  I am finally at a point where it feels like my life is settling down and I’m trying to understand how to get back into writing.

The question on my mind is this: Do I really have something to say?

At times, I think I do not. At other times, I feel like my head will explode if I don’t write something.  I think I’m coming out of a period of burnout and exhaustion from many things and I’m starting to feel again.  Writing has become a part of who I am and this blog would not have lasted this long if writing wasn’t important to me.

Over these past several months, I have realized that God has given me a voice in writing, it is a way to share who I am and also I think God has given me a message to share through my writing.  That message seems to be changing and I can’t quite put my finger on it yet, but I will be sharing my thoughts on that in the near future, I’m sure, as it becomes clear to me.

I’ve got something to say……..DO YOU?